Thursday, November 15, 2012

Acid Reflux

If you have ever had reflux then you know the pain associated with it. If you are a parent of a baby who suffers from it then you know what a nightmare it is not only the child but for you. Anna Ruth was diagnosed with reflux when she was only a few weeks old. She has silent reflux which I have been told can be more painful for the infant because they never actually spit up, it just travels up the esophagus and back down, burning the whole time. I had reflux before I got pregnant and know what it feels like and that is why it kills me to see her suffering.

It was nice to finally figure out why she was crying all the time. If I had a dollar for every time someone said she is just suffering from colic, I would be one wealthy lady. Talking with our pediatrician and doing hours of research, I discovered that colic is not a diagnosis. It is simply a term used to describe symptoms of "fussy" babies. In fact, there really is no clear definition of colic. There are however developmental stages and times of the evening when lots of babies are not happy and seem to cry more than others (again, not colic). But, Anna Ruth was not happy for most of the day. I would find myself standing up bouncy up and down for the majority of the day just to keep her from crying. Talk about a major leg workout! Heaven forbid I put her down or even sit down while holding  her. She would scream her head off.

We have been playing around with medications to see which one(s) will help her best. Currently, she is on 2 different ones. I know that they are helping some, in fact, I would hate to think how she would be if she wasn't on them. Still, they aren't making the reflux totally disappear. She still has feeding issues which, in turn, leads to sleeping issues. And while she is not near as fussy as she was in the beginning, she defiantly has her times in the day when she is hurting. And during those times, I cry along with her because I so wish I could take away her pain.

Another issues is that she seems to only be really content with me. Of course that leads to comments about how I have "spoiled" her. Well, those comments really get to me because of course I am going to pick up my child when she is hurting and comfort her. I am a Mother and that's what you do to take care of your child. I am the one that is with her most of the day and therefore she is more use to me. And the reason that she isn't content with anyone else besides myself or Clint is because everyone is so quick to give her back to me saying, "She just wants her mommy." So, how will she ever get use to others?

I realize this sounds like a venting post. And maybe it sleep and long days will do that to you. But, really I wanted to explain why my child doesn't seem as happy as some babies. I don't even know why I feel compelled to justify it to anyone. I just wish people could see the sweet smiles and laughter I get during the day and the happy times. Unfortunately, most of that happens when it is just the two of us or with Clint. We know we have a happy baby underneath all the pain.

I also want to make clear that I am extremely thankful for an otherwise healthy baby. When I was pregnant and we got back the test results that showed an abnormality for Downs Syndrome, I prayed that God would make her healthy. And He did and I haven't forgotten that fact. She is such a blessing to our family! I know she will grown out of this and even if she doesn't, I wouldn't trade her for a million other non-reflux babies.


Little Blue House said...

I'm sorry that AR suffers from this... it is very painful! You are doing a great job as a mommy, don't let others make you think that you're not. She is yours and your decisions are what matters and you make them out of unconditional love. Stay strong and know that you are the best mommy to AR! What a blessed little baby girl!

Mariellen said...

Sorry to hear that about your sweetie!! I will say a prayer for you guys and that she out grows it!!! I have heard of lots who do! Always remember you are doing the best you can do!! Our babies are so lucky bc they are so loved and live in safe happy homes.